Pretty much everyone I know is married, has babies, or is dating somebody. I get these people who ask me every once in awhile if I am dating somebody and my answer 95% of the time is no, i'm still single and they then reply with "awww it'll be ok, you'll find someone eventually" and my response is usually to smile and shake off what I really want to tell them. Today though I just want to tell you guys how I feel about the dating world today.

I'm no stranger to dating and I have had one or two good dating situations. I was happy and I felt good being with that person. I wanted to make them happy and they in return did the same. There were lots of good times, laughter, and just happiness all around. Liking someone turned into love but it never got farther than love. After a while the path to dating is eventually engagement and afterwards then marriage. For me I just don't see that end of the rainbow. So far i've been happy just with the whole dating portion of it and going any further almost sounds like a fairytale dream. When I was little I used to think about that perfect wedding. A nice big crowd of all my friends and family and me having the perfect husband who smiles and almost cries when he sees me coming down the aisle. My father leading me down to him and his proud smile as I kiss him on the cheek and make my way to the stand where in front of everyone we know, we become unified by a single kiss and a piece of paper that is given to us by the government. I would then take his last name and eventually have his children. Sounds pretty standard but just imagine it all girly and with nothing going wrong in this scenario. Complete paradise in wedding form.

Now as a twenty year old I find that to be unreachable and almost undesirable. Weddings, in my opinion, are all for show on how much money you can spend. They say a lot about the people getting married and it says a lot about how much money they have. Really that's the tradition. To show yourself off as a couple to your community. So far my little insight on weddings has been on the low level side. I have only been to one good wedding and it was very low key, quick with the formality and all party afterwards. Nobody cared what you dressed like, looked like, how you could dance, or how drunk you were. The other weddings I have been to were very boring, traditional and for the most part...normal. I had to HAVE a wedding I would make it as crazy and be as **** faced as possible. I mean you are signing yourself to the government in a way.

Besides that though, I really do think that dating leading to marriage is so mainstream and to me seems to be far away from my thoughts. Its nice to have someone there to cuddle, kiss, and sometimes get romantic with but, it is also nice to not have to worry about the drama that comes with that person. You don't have to worry about what they think, how their day was, where they were, how work went, etc. Sure you do that with your friends and you usually don't mind listening and sometimes you are actually interested but dating someone else is another category. Every detail of your relationship counts. Every word, every kiss, every thought, everything you do or don't do with them can effect if you stay together or not.

In today's age though it only got harder and more ridiculous. Most men my age want to have a quick bang and gone scenario. You invite them over, the play a movie, something happens, next thing you know you've had sex and he's out the door and gone before you have a moment to really understand anything at all. Nobody wants to go out on a real date and get to the know the person. It's all about the pretending who you are over the net and then faking it till you get some and then your good. It makes trusting people really difficult and awkward situations rise quickly when you aren't wanting anything. Anything can happen to set off the other person and its a little nerve wracking. Dating just doesn't exist to people my age. If you do get someone that you actually like enough to want to spend more than usual time with then it's like finding solid gold in a pile of needles.

So yes, I am single and yes I enjoy every second of it. I like my independence and it makes my life easier to move around in. It doesn't mean that i'm not open to dating someone sometime but, you have to be exceptional for that to happen and so far there hasn't been anyone that makes me have second thoughts. Sometimes it's better just to get to know who you are then follow the standard that most people live up to. I don't want to be a typical woman who dates somebody, gets engaged, married and has kids just because that's whats in front of me. That's just not my cup of tea and even if it was in front of me, I don't like tea so it would quickly be put down the drain.

I'm just waiting for the most exceptional human to come along to join me, for now i'm good with getting to know myself more and more each day and being alive. That to me, is what matters most right now. Being who I am and living.