Theres something about this subject that makes me kind of upset. Maybe its because of the outcome in most cases or news events we hear about or maybe its just that its terrible on the person who has it. It hurts, it makes you sick, and the chances of survival can go one way or the other. Death or possibility of survival. What is this I am talking about? That would be cancer. Yes, cancer. Recently I had a chat about cancer. It became real when I got the lay down on the situation and I certainly was startled to hear it pop up with this person. The conversation bought back from memories about my childhood. It was really something that made me feel disconnected and I never felt better after a time of healing. Not really. 

My experience with cancer is a sad one and one that will stick with me for the rest of my life. See my cousin had cancer and when he had gotten sick I didn't really understand what Cancer meant. So to me it seemed to be something that I could put on the back burner in my brain. Maybe I thought he would get better. Maybe I didn't understand yet what it meant to have something that you or may not survive from? I honestly didn't think he would die. 

I really wish I could have talked with him and had a longer conversation. It really hit me hard to loose him and I still think about him to this day. He was a sweet guy and I remember him being so kind to me as a little kid. There are very few pictures out there of my counsin's and I together. It is almost non-existant. Thank goodness that someone had a camera back then to create these memories for us to have. 

Four long years he fought, and for almost twelve years I have thought about him but I know that hes in a better place somewhere in the spirit world.