Last night was the night. The final goodbye to the pent up emotions, the sadness and anger that I felt towards the two demons that I kept around for years. They both have names and faces. They both had a influence on my life that I can never get rid of and yet they both left scars that I wouldn’t want anyone else to have inflicted on them. It was very strange to sit by the fire and slowly burn away all the things I wrote, all the emotions and the feelings I had. It was the right thing to do but it was also something that took me time to build up to. 

A couple years ago I had a run in with one of these demons who I shall name Hellion. Hellion and I had a long conversation and she had told me that she had burned all my letters and belongings. She had done something that I didn’t have the courage to do. Not at the time anyway. 

See for me I knew it was going to take longer. She didn’t realize the damage she did and how bad she had hurt me. She even told me that she doesn’t remember most of what happened. I call that bull**** but of course I will never know the truth from the lie. I remember all the details of what happened, I remember how she hurt me and what went down. I remember every bit of sadness and anger. I could have given her my life if I needed to. I loved her to my very existence and yet here I was, five years later and still alone. Without her. 

As I burned the letters I remembered every part of her I loved, I remembered every fun thing we did and the adventures we had. The stories we told and the pictures we took. I remembered it all and before I burned the last letter I talked to her. The her I remember. I said my goodbyes, I told her how much I did love her and how much I was going to miss her. Then with a final throw I gave the last letter to the fire and watched it burn away. The last words i wrote and a final reminder that it was finally over. 

All the remains now are ashes. No more words, no more emotion, just me and my soul moving forward in this time when things are finally turning around. 

I can finally be free