I remember my Grandfather's funeral really well. It was thanksgiving and when he passed away I knew that my family was going to have a hard time. At that time my girlfriend was with me and she made sure that I stayed stable the entire time. I got along with my Grandfather more than I do my grandmother and honestly I am not sure why. To this day I think I am still on better terms with Grandpa then Grandma. 

In any case the service was really nice and I had to go up on stage and speak a line at my grandfather’s funeral. My grandmother had insisted and with much effort and sadness I managed to get the lines out. It was the only time during the entire service where I almost lost my calm and collected self. Truth be told I was probably more collected then most people are at funeral services. Even when my Dad did Grandpas obituary I felt like it was a perfect way to send him off. 

Now my family is very weird. Specifically my father and I. I remember that we had talked about how he would like to be sent off. We had talked about several different options and I told him that I would send him off like Darth Vader was but do it on a floating device over the water. I would make it epic for him. He didn’t seem to mind, as long as his ashes made it to the ocean he was ok with it. 

My Grandpa's service was nice and very fulfilling for the kind of man that he was. My grandpa didn’t want to be buried and of course my Grandma does. So she did something that I am not sure was entirely up 100% up to what Grandpa wanted but then again marriage is about compromise. My grandma got my Grandpa cremated but then his ashes were buried. Way to go Grandma, always finding  a way to make you both happy. 

After my Grandpa's passing we had to deal with the family drama that came from my aunt, I had to hold off my girlfriend from bashing her face in, and of course deal with my cousin and her friends at the same time. It was hectic and not my cup of tea. I wanted to have a time where we could mourn him and all my family was either super sad and in the process getting ready for dinner or getting up to cloud nine to forget how sad we all are. I left and went on a walk and when I returned my family was ready to eat and honor my Grandfather with a toast. 

Sometimes I wonder how I will be sent off. Who will read my obituary. If anyone will care when im gone. I mean, I am sure all of us have thought about it and have imagined it at one time or another. Life is so amazing and I wonder if when you die its black or if you go somewhere else. 

Only the dead will know that answer.